Laguna's Travels
by peach petal9
Summary: Laguna has his own show too. Read about his adventures and encounters with people, that is if Kiros lets him continue....
1. Galbadia

Alright, I'm on a roll now. Here is another new story for you all. Most of my stories will all tie together little by little. However, don't worry too much if you don't read them all. The only one I will promote, are the ones with multiple FF characters from the different games.

It's time for (jingle) Laguna's Travels

Laguna is sitting at a desk with an assortment of oddities on the surface. Most likely, they are from his travels; they consist of pictures, rocks, magazines, futuristic odds and ends from Esthar.

"Aw, that's a cute jingle. Who was singing that? You girls?" He points to the backup singers who nervously smile back and nod. "That's great, thank you for it. Let's hear it for the singers, folks."

The audience applauds.

"Anyway, I am here to tell you all about my world famous travels and tips to use when you go exploring in different countries and cultures." He smiles and sits back.

"Now let's see…what shall we discuss first?" He pauses for a moment and chew on the end of his pen.

"I know! Kiros!" He snaps his fingers. Laguna lets go a little chuckle.

"I'm sorry, he's not the subject. O Kiiiiroooos!"

Kiros walks slowly onto the stage as if he is not sure he should be seen. Laguna pats the sofa beside him. The dark man takes a seat.

"So you already need me to bail you out of this idea." He says.

"No, I'm cool."

"I don't know why they even give you your own show if you don't know what to talk about." He shakes his head. "Tell them about Galbadia, and don't forget to include us."

Laugna nods repeatedly. "I'd never forget you guys. Ok once upon a time…"

"Uh, we don't have time for that version," Kiros interrupts, "just go for the giving-directions-to-a-bathroom version."

Laguna looks down sadly. "Gee, that doesn't seem fair, but alright. I was a soldier for Galbadia and let me tell you, it wasn't living. The only reason I joined was to see the world. You know that's what they put on the posters. I really wanted to be a writer, but I wanted to get some experience. You know, live a little."

"He also wanted to impress the girls." Kiros adds.

"Uh-hey! Anyway, what the poser didn't say was you'd travel and start wars with people and they would stick you in one spot all shift long." Laguna pauses to take a sip from his mug.

"The only good thing about my years of service was getting back to the hotel in Deling and hearing my favorite piano player, the most beautiful, talented…" Suddenly, he stops. He looks as if his pants ripped.

Kiros takes note of this and leans in. "Now who was this woman?"

Laguna flashes a look towards his friend, but sees that he's not gonna get any help from him. He tries to improvise. "I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to come up with such beautiful music to sing and play at the same time. I'm one of those people that find it hard to rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time. Heh heh."

Kiros gets tired of this. "You don't even remember her name!"

"Now whose show is this"? Laguna retorts.

"Why do have a show? That's what I don't get!"

Laguna ignores him. "So, if you feel that you want to join the army, by all means go right ahead. That's about all the time we have for now so-

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! You didn't tell them about the dangerous battles, or names of places we patrolled, nor did you remember your first crush, JULIA, and most importantly…YOU DIDN'T EVEN MENTION WARD AND I!" Kiros shouts.

Laguna just laughs. "Calm down, this is only my first show. I promise it will only get better, trust me."

"Good! Because I'm telling you this show sucks." Kiros growls.

"That's all for now, bye bye!"

End


	2. Windhill

It's time for another installment of Laguna's Travels! I would like to thank hibeki for the review. One sweet review is enough to fuel my creative juices…..mmm…Juicy!

As the show begins, Laguna is talking to someone just off the stage. "That's a nice lobster."

Kiros is sitting beside him on the couch perks up at the peculiar line. "W-what? What are you talking about? What lobster?"

Laguna stops for a moment, shaking his head. "No, wait…I'm thinking of something else."

Kiros slaps his forehead. "Come on now, we haven't even started the sh-

"It's time for (jingle) Laguna's Travels"

The audience claps as Kiros fights to be heard. "You cut me off!"

As things settle down, Laguna pats Kiros' shoulder. "No, I didn't…do it on purpose anyway. I'm starting now."

"Ugh!"

Laguna smiles at the crowd. "Welcome back, people. It is wonderful to be back to tell more stuff about me."

Kiros glares at him. Laguna stammers. "Uh, and my friends Ward and Kiros. Let's give Kiros a hand everyone."

The audience claps again and this time Kiros is pleased.

"I'm revamping the show a bit. Kiros will be a full-time addition to the show. You know, as a sidekick."

"You mean to help you remember stuff."

"That too. Plus, I am going to try and get guests on this show. If it gets big enough and speaking of big," He pulls out a magazine. "Take a look at these reviews. We are getting some big hits on viewers."

"I still don't see why anybody would want to watch this show voluntarily. I don't get it." Kiros crosses his arms.

"Aww, come on Kiros. Don't bad mouth the show you are on."

"It's not my show." He replies.

"Would you want your own show?" Laguna leans over to him with a sly grin.

Kiros tries to hide his pleasure. "Maybe…"

"Then stick to this hot show and maybe you'll get a spin-off."

"Really?" Kiros really looks pleased.

Laguna winks at the camera, and then holds out the magazine to Kiros.

"Check this out."

Kiros skims over it quickly. "What's this?"

"The ratings. Look right there."

"So?"

"Look how many people are watching. It says 3.5 million people!" Laguna slaps the magazine down on the desk.

"Listen, that's all dandy and tra la la la, but that was just our first show. I'm sure the reasonable and sensible people will never pick up this show again."

"Oh don't be pessimistic." Laguna waves him off.

Kiros grins at him. "Spell it for me."

Laguna eyes him warily. "We are off the subject." He turns back to the audience.

"Today I would like to talk to you about Windhill. Boy, talk about peaceful living, well, sort of. I had the honor of patrolling the town and destroying all the monsters that tried to get in so the townspeople could live in happiness and-

"If I recall," Kiros jumps in, "many of the townspeople didn't like us."

"Ah, they had a lovely little café with great music and good food. Oh, they had this one dish that was my favorite, and she'd serve it with these pink and yellow flowers in it-

"Who?" Kiros asks.

Laguna tries to ignore him. "It gave it a mellow taste. It reminded me of this one song I heard in Dollet-

"Whooo?" Kiros nudges him persistently.

He swats the hand away. "I don't remember who sung it, but-

"No, I mean who made the dish for you! You know if you had the ability to stick to one topic in a conversation with millions of people, I'm sure I could understand how those ratings worked. I bet you can't even remember her name you sad man." Kiros shouted at him.

Laguna plugs the ear the dark man was yelling in with a finger. "Raine. Her name is Raine and she made the dish. It was called Petals di Ensalada. A local dish in the Windhill Region made specifically at the café. Happy?"

Kiros just shrugged.

"Once, I wrote about this journey I made through this icy path-

"Wait! You just jumped stories-

"No I didn't, just hang on. Now it was really cold and lonely-

"Hello?"

"Hi, and I was so far away from home, but through my perilous journey the thought of Windhill and Raine and her food got me back safely." Laguna ended his story with a sip of his cup.

Kiros can't believe what he just heard. "Wind, Raine, and food? How are you going to make this up to her?"

Laguna looks at him. "I'm trying to say that those wonderful memories kept me going. I found shelter then. Let's see where was I…?"

"Nowhere, as usual! This is a sham! Can we quit this show? Anyone?" He looks to the producers.

"They're shaking their heads 'no'. I don't believe this." Kiros covers his face.

"Hey, I know Ward remembers. Just before that camera crew found us. That reminds me…Oh I'll tell you all next time. Let me just conclude with this, don't ever forget great memories, they get you through everything." Laguna concludes.

"You seem to forget a lot of things."

"Goodbye everyone!"

End.

Notes- I feel much better about this chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. Peachy!


	3. Acting

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, never will. SO THERE! I SAID IT!!!! WAAAAAA!

Laguna sits down at his desk as the audience applauses. Kiros has already taken his seat before the show started and just shakes his head with disappointment.

"Ha ha ha! You guys are wonderful! What a wonderful crowd!" Laguna waves to them almost knocking off his mug. Kiros makes an attempt to move it out of the way.

"Careful, you dolt!"

"Welcome everybody, to another episode of….wait, let me find it!" Laguna mutters quickly searching under his desk for something.

"Ah, here we go!"

("I don't believe…") Kiros mutters in the background.

"It's Time For Laguna's Travels!" The jingle starts up.

"Let's hear it for our third show! Yeah!" Laguna pumps a fist into the air.

"I can't believe we're still on after that ridiculous mess on 'Versus'."

"Aw come on-

"Don't 'aw, come on' me! You poked me…With. A. Stick!" Kiros prodded him with a finger for emphasis. He crosses his arms and looks away. Laguna offer a sheepish smile.

"Guess what today's topic is?"

"I can only hope it's your inability to function as a normal talk show host."

"Uh, no and that's not nice." Laguna wags a finger at him like he was a four year old in trouble.

"I'm not trying to be nice, I'm trying," he pauses to take a sigh, "to make you understand that…some things are just not meant to be, like you and this show." Kiros places a sympathetic hand on Laguna's shoulder, but he shrugs it off with a glare.

"Today, I'd like to discuss our natural camera charisma. Can you see the how the chemistry just flows on screen? Can you notice how the light hits us just right?"

Ironically, they both raise and lower their head at the camera showing off their perfect skin in the camera lights.

Laguna continues, "and how we always no just what to say at the right moment?"

"Oh hohoho! I beg to differ!" Kiros interjects.

"Wait-

"Since when did any of your shows make any sense or even have the effort to keep a fluid conversation going about one single topic?" Kiros shouted.

"Come on, Kiros. I know you remember our days as actors!"

"If I recall correctly, it was our days as stuntmen. The only part you ever got was a small piece on a teen soap opera. How you got that, I'll never know." Kiros wondered.

"Our big break was this medieval piece…" Laguna tries to continue.

"If I recall as well, it didn't turn out so hot because the dragon turned out to be real. So a harsh battle ensued."

"But oh, they caught it all on film! It was great!"

Finally, Kiros nods in agreement. "Yes it was one of our best battles. So, what happened next?"

Laguna gives him a blank look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, after the battle, what happened next in our adventures?" Kiros leaned towards him.

"What are you talking about?" Laguna chuckles.

Kiros looks at him incredulously. "You must know what happens next, I…what is wrong with you that you can't seem to finish a thought, or a memory, or-or a TALK SHOW!!!"

"Why are you so angry? I'm finished with that topic."

"How can you say that? I mean you said nothing about the stunts we used did, nor the actors and directors we worked with and how any of that helped prepare you for this show. Might I add, we can see how that worked out! Plus, you didn't say squat about Ward! Look at him over there, simply being overlooked every show!"

The camera pans over to where Ward is sitting, surprising the big man who is in mid-bite of a hoagie.

"Don't say that, Kiros. Ward is doing just fine over there. Camera, come back to me. Sorry there Ward, didn't mean to put you on the spot there. Now Kiros," Laguna pats his dark friend on the shoulder, "I know there's so much to discuss about our travels and trials, but you must understand it will all be covered over the course of the series. It takes time and patience-

"Well I'm just about running out of patience with you. Well," He sighs, "at least we stayed on topic despite how short it was. Should I hope for anything more? Dare I say it's the end of the show?"

Laguna gives him a wink. "You betcha! You're getting good at this television thing, Kiros. Tune in next time folks we we talk about Esthar."

"Goodbye everyone, I apologize sincerely to those who may experience a brain aneurism from this lack of intelligence here."

"Bye everyone!"

Fin.

Notes- I assume by now everyone is aware that Laguna's show will not produce much of a story telling plot, but you all know what he's been through. You've played the game. Enjoy this bit of nonsense and let me know what you think! Peachy!


End file.
